Sometimes we sit and ponder these things and
the ‘what-might-have-been’ and the things we could
have done differently to change the outcome
Sometimes life throws you a curveball, hands
you a lemon or knocks you for a loop. What do you
do
JK Rowling speaks to Harvard Graduates about
Failure
“You will never truly
know yourself or the strength of your relationships until
both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a
true gift for it is painfully won.”
J.K. Rowling
Sometimes life throws you a curveball, hands you a lemon
or knocks you for a loop. What do you do? How do you approach
these failures and how do you overcome them?
When author J.K. Rowling addressed the graduating class
at Harvard last June, she didn’t focus on success. Instead,
she spoke about failure - hers.
She related a story of a young woman who gave up her dream
of writing novels to study something more practical. Nonetheless,
she ended up as an unemployed single mother “as poor as
it were possible to be in modern Britain without being homeless.”
(Readers Digest, May 2009).
But it was during this rock bottom time that she realized
she still has a wonderful daughter, an old typewriter, and
an idea that would be the foundation for rebuilding her
life. Perhaps you’ve heard of Harry Potter?
Some of us have gone through failures, some too few to mention,
but others carry burdens of guilt for the rest of their
lives.
Sometimes we sit and ponder these things and the ‘what-might-have-been’
and the things we could have done differently to change
the outcome.
Things like: maybe we weren’t the perfect wife or husband
that fit the picture of a perfect home with the white picket
fence...
Or a bad business decision that caused you to lose a considerable
amount of money, leaving you in debt and causing other family
problems...
Or it could be making a bad call professionally that caused
the organization you work for to suffer.
How do we overcome all this? Well, firstly, we hope that
not all of the above were to happen simultaneously! But
on a more serious note, how does one ‘bounce back’ from
all these adversities?
Do we just pick ourselves up and forge on? Or do we actually
need more help as we cannot even begin to comprehend how
it had impacted us, and more importantly, the people around
us. And even when we do understand, we still cannot undo
the wrongs. It could have been a ‘good idea at the time’
but it is still deemed wrong by other people’s standards.
And, since we don’t live in isolation, we have to accept
the notion of being judged by society. When that happens,
it could put us in a very lonely place.
For some of us, we turn to our respective Gods and religion
for solace and strength to keep going. For others, we turn
to true friends who are willing to listen to us. They might
not be able to give us expert advice, but still, the thought
that someone really cares, does count for a lot.
We have read stories of how people overcome failures and
setbacks. But then again, we sometimes feel that it’s not
even close to what we ourselves are going through.
So there’s really no hard and fast rule on how to deal with
failure. Nothing is carved in stone for us to follow or
make an example of.
All we can do is to try and figure out where on earth we
went wrong and try to rectify them. And in the process,
try not to incur more mistakes to escalate primary problems
into bigger ones. Two wrongs don’t exactly make one right!
Philosopher John Stuart Mill says that we should decide
to “seek the greatest happiness for the greatest number.”He
says an act’s “rightness” is determined by its contribution
to a desirable end.
But then, where does that leave the ‘I’ in that equation?
Does it mean we sacrifice ourselves for others? Does it
also mean we forgo our own lives for others to be happy?
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless
you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived
at all - in which case you have also failed by default!
Haven’t you?
Towards the end of her session, Rowling said, “You will
never truly know yourself or the strength of your relationships
until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge
is a true gift for it is painfully won.”
Yes. And amidst all the bitterness, sadness and misgivings
that accompany the hard times, are lessons worth savouring.
Maybe, if we look hard enough, we might still see hope and
a silver lining!
And always remember, even when subjugated, one must not
accept fate without a fight!
These are lessons in life that the best university education
could not prepare you for - not even Harvard. As Rowling
herself admits, it doesn’t take a wizard to figure that
one out!
