Of Final Exams and Final Projects

“Have you ever felt on certain days that you just don’t feel like going to the office to mark papers and don’t want to stay at home either? It’s just one of those days that you feel you need to be somewhere else”

It’s that time of year again when we slog through piles of final exam papers, final projects and other final things.

Last week alone I sat in for 90 presentations for all the final year subjects that I teach. I’m sure some of us have more, and some might even say, “Hey, it’s just a number!” I’m not trying to compete with anyone here, but having that many presentations in a week, can be a brain-scrambling experience.

So given that background, you would be able to relate to this.

Have you ever felt on certain days that you just don’t feel like going to the office to mark papers and don’t want to stay at home either? It’s just one of those days that you feel you need to be somewhere else... I had that this week.

After sending the kids to school, I grabbed a handful (not very ambitious) of research papers and headed out of my house. Since I had already taken leave, I needed to go somewhere neutral… to gather my thoughts and wrap my head around work.

I ended up in Alamanda, Putrajaya around 8.30am. The shops were not even opened yet. I sat outside the food court facing the government offices with a mug of brewing Nescafe, and attempted to mark the research reports while trying to dissect what was written, some in bad English, no doubt... I managed to finish a couple of reports by the time the clock struck noon.

Maybe it did seem somewhat odd to some people around the food court area for anyone like yours truly, to be there – red pen in mid-air, frown on my forehead and just looking out at the horizons in between the pages that I was marking. But truth be told, it was very refreshing to be in that environment, away from everything and everyone...

Took a break at noon and walked around, went to MPH... bought a book. Yes, in my busy schedule, I still read and write articles such as this one. It helps keep me sane. I also saw this book titled The Malaysian Journey by a local writer, Rehman Rashid. Someone told me it’s a book worth reading, well maybe next time...

I later spent the rest of the afternoon at Starbucks, more marking and sipping more coffee.  There I was, sitting with a bunch of yuppies, all at their laptops.  Then looking around, it suddenly dawned on me... either we coffee lovers are hardworking people, or we’re a bunch of lonely people ... because all of them were alone, and so was I.

But I chose to be alone that day, wanted to, needed to... to dissect some of the things that were going through my head and figure out some of the feelings that were coursing through my heart.

I sat there looking out at the fountain outside, the water dancing in rhythm under the bright sun. Metaphorically, life is like that... it has its own systematic rhythm, disrupt that and the rhythm would be broken. Mended, it would continue to function, although not as good as before. But if it were broken and became a total loss, it might not mend at all... yes, life’s like that.

Sometimes you feel as if you had been dealt a fate worse than death... “What do we do?” I asked Joe, my Deakin Psychology counterpart. He said, “Ask for a new deck of cards and hope to draw all Aces!” I wished it were that simple. I wished life was that simple!

I sat there thinking about life in general, reflecting on my own. A journey of experiences: good and bad, happy and sad and more profoundly’ my achievements and failures. No one wants to remember the bad, the pain and the failures. But sometimes we wonder, at least I do … does it make us stronger? Does it make us better people? Or does it sometimes break us and turn us into a shadow of our former selves?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answers.

 Let me know when you find out, anyone?

I was still thinking about it when I was shaken out of my reverie by the cheerful greeting of the Starbucks waiter, “Welcome to Starbucks, how may I help you?” Back to reality, and back to marking research reports.

After some time passed, I got my things together, packed my backpack, gathered my thoughts and walked outside into the sun. I closed my eyes feeling the sun shine on my face with renewed hope. Hope that things would get better, that work would be more rewarding and, of course, finish marking critical essays, exam papers, research papers and drama scripts on time so the Registrar would not kill me!

Whew, what a life!
     
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