Of 'Sepet' and Mixed Marriages

Of 'Sepet' and Mixed Marriages

Orked's father's reaction to their relationship

Of 'Sepet' and Mixed Marriages

Orked and Jason in a scene from the movie Sepet


The easiest answer would be because ‘they are an unlikely couple’. But who are we to predict that they would not end up happy or the relationship would not work. Underlying any marriage or relationship would be understanding, love and passion that surpass all boundaries of race and religion.

Did you watch this controversial movie by Yasmin Ahmad? This film hit the Malaysian cinema in 2004 and was the talk of the town soon after. There were two main groups of people, mainly the group of young and upcoming filmmakers who liked it and the old school of thought who hated it.

Well, ‘hate’ is a strong word. Let us just say they did not quite like it because of the main focus of the story. Sepet is a simple story about one Chinese boy, Jason, who enjoyed poetry and one Malay girl, Orked, with a penchant for Chinese movies. Together they told an unforgettable love story. So what’s wrong, you ask me?

Yes, pray tell what is so wrong. Especially since Malaysia is a multiracial country and almost everywhere we turn we see couples who are from this multiracial community. It would be cliché to say that we should be open-minded, especially, after 50 years of Merdeka!

Maybe it was because of the other issues that were also highlighted that caused some discomfort among some quarters: like issues of the Malay quota into universities, bumiputera scholarships selection, and other more serious issues of race and religion.

Talk about race and religion today and it becomes a poison dart. Almost everybody is sensitive about it. Say something that is deemed insulting and a fight can just explode. What has this generation come to? What has brought it on? Where did we go wrong?

I remember when I was in school, there were no issues about race or religion. We were simply, just friends. And most of my friends were either Chinese or Indian as we spoke the same ‘foreign’ language – English.

Yes, I went through peer pressure at a very young age. I didn’t have many Malay friends because I could speak this ‘foreign’ language fluently. How can I not, my Mum was an English teacher! I had little choice...

Even during my uni days, we used to move around in a ‘gang’. The more the merrier. And our gang comprised boys and girls of all races. In fact, race was a non-factor as we were just fast friends studying at the same faculty from a wide range of fields, ranging from mass communications, anthropology, Malay and English literature, to political science. You name it and we had them all in ‘our gang’.

You could imagine the discussions we had on any current issues. It was enriching, engaging and loud, as each wanted to hold on to our own respective stands. We could joke and call each other names. We could even say to our Malay friends "Melayu memang gitu, malas, bila nak rajin entah..." (Malays are always like that, lazy, don’t know when they will ever be hardworking …) and no one minded or took offense.

We could also tease a certain Chinese boy in our group "Dia memang kedekut, tak pernah nak belanja sebab nak cepat kaya. Cina memang business-minded" (He’s always like that, stingy, never wants to pay for drinks because he wants to get rich fast. Chinese are always like that, business minded). Eventually our Chinese friend would pick up the tab, but with such great reluctance.

Our Indian friend was also not exempted. He was good looking with fair skin and a sharp nose. He did mention to us that he had ancestral Brahmin origins that made him ‘handsome’; not that we cared. So we used to tease him for his self indulgence "Species India memang macam tu, perasan. Susah kawan dengan orang-orang yang ditimpa perasaan ni" (The Indian species is always like that, self indulgent. It’s so difficult to be friends with people like that).

His retort would always be “I can’t help it if God made me good looking”. Yeah, right!

Try this today, and you are lucky you remain unscathed and are not punched in the face, or slapped, at the very least. That is getting off easy. I do not even want to imagine the worst case scenario.

And during those fun uni days, hanging out with a boy who was not of the same race was also a non-issue. Or it did not matter to the university community as we were one big, happy family. But of course for parents, it was a different story.

Imagine you are a parent and your son wants to marry a Malay girl like Orked. Your son would have to convert to a different faith and more often than not, drop his family name: a surname that had been carried and honoured for generations past. What many are not aware is, changing or dropping your surname is not even a must, just a preference.

The general understanding would be to leave ‘everything’ when he gets married; implying severance of all ties with his birth family for the family he is marrying into. Was it so impossible for Jason to change his faith while maintaining relationships with his birth family? Definitely there would have to be compromises and tolerance on everyone concerned; but if it could make Jason happy, why not?

If Jason was willing to face the obstacles and the challenges, why not give it a sporting chance? One never knows.  It might just have worked. After all, some people have been known to give up for a lot less, okay!

I remember towards the end of our graduating year, my Indian friend had developed a liking for one of my Malay girlfriends. They were just friends; at least that was what my friend thought. But, he apparently had feelings for her. However, he was not about to leave his religion for her. Hence, they parted. So now we know what some men would not do, even for love!

What about the Chinese boy who used to gaze into your eyes whenever you spoke to him. He always had this love-sick puppy expression. Cute in one sense but you knew he was not listening to a word you were saying. His only excuse was “Your eyes are so mesmerizing …” What can you say to that? Well, just smile … I did.

Well, having said that, Sepet went on to win The Best ASEAN Feature Film 9th Malaysian Video Awards in 2004 and was the official selection at the Barcelona ASEAN Film Festival in 2005. Sepet also competed in the 48th San Francisco International Film Festival 2005 and Creteilint’l Festival Women’s Film 2005 in France.

If it had won these prestigious acknowledgements in other countries, it must have made a statement, positive ones, don’t you think? So why was it still such a controversial film?

The easiest answer would be because ‘they were an unlikely couple’. But who are we to say that they would not have ended up happy or the relationship would not have worked? Shouldn’t the underlying idea in any relationship be understanding, love and passion that surpass all boundaries of race and religion?

To quote Jason in his letter to Orked: "I've waited all my life for you but you took so long to come. And so much has happened in the time that I’ve waited for you. I used to write poetry only to God as I had no one els,e but I believe God has sent you to me, you’re my poetry, Orked..."

So, do you still think they would not have made it as a couple?
     
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